人間の過去とは、常に現在形の幻想である。 そして、ポジティブになること。
『人間の過去とは、常に現在形の幻想である。』
Positive thinking is a significant element of happiness. In order to become a positive thinker, determination and consistency are important. The first thing to know about positive thinking is that everyone can do it. With certain cognitive and behavioral modifications, we can all become positive thinkers.
否定的な出来事に捕らわれる代わりに肯定的な出来事に注目してください。例えば、望むように仕事が進まない場合はそれにイライラするのではなく、あなたには仕事があり状況を良くするための時間を設けることができるという事実に注目してみてください。
自分への評価を正し、自身の行動を完璧なものとして捉えるのではなく適度なものにに変えてください。自分の弱点を他者の強みと比較し、次に自分の強みと他者の弱みを比較、そしてあなた自身と他者とを比べます。多くの人は自分の弱点よりも強みに注目しますが、強みと同時に自分の弱点にも気づいている人は、より健全な自己評価ができているでしょう。
もしあなたが自分にほうびよりも罰を与えがちな場合は、その習慣を正すべきです。あなた自身がこれまでどれくらい頑張ってきたのかをもっと考え、自分自身を認め、そしてこれから自分がどうなりたいのかを考えましょう。
実際の出来事を見て物事を判断してください。例えば、「今向かいあっている相手が」自分と仲良くない人に似ているからといって、その人が自分を騙そうとしていると勝手に決めつけてはいけません。あなたの仮定が正しいという証拠があるかどうかを確かめるために、他の要素をよく見てみましょう。
完全主義に基づいた二分法は望ましくない結果を生みます。「これはこの方法で行われるべきだ」と言う代わりに、「私はこの方法を支持します、しかしこの方法以外にも行うべき方法があると思います」と言う方が望ましいでしょう。
Change your self-monitoring: Instead of selectively attending to negative events, focus on the positive ones. Then pay attention to the delayed consequences of your behavior rather than the immediate ones. For example, if a job is not going like you want, focus on the fact that you have a job and how you can take your time to make the situation better.
Change your self-evaluation: Challenge any inaccurate internal attributions and see if you compare your behavior to standards that are excessively rigid and perfectionistic. If so, change these and be reasonable with your comparisons. For example, if you constantly compare your weaknesses with other peoples' strengths, then switch this and compare yourself with those who are doing poorer than you as well. Overall, people who focus more on their strengths than their weaknesses but at the same time are aware of their weaknesses have a healthier self-evaluation result.
Change your self-reinforcement: If you have low rates of self-reward and high rates of self-punishment when it comes to certain aspects of your life, then you want to modify this. For example, think more of how far you've come, how hard you've worked, acknowledge yourself for it and then see how much further you want to go.
Draw conclusions with evidence: Look at the evidence, look at the events, look at patterns and don't base your conclusions on assumptions. For example, don't just assume someone will cheat you because they look like or in some ways act like an ex you didn't get along with. Look at other elements to see if there is any evidence for your assumption.
Don't do "either/or" thinking: Black and white thinking based on perfectionistic thought is counterproductive. Every time a thought pops up and has words like "should" or "must," challenge it. For example, instead of saying "this should be done this way," say something like, "I prefer it this way but I am sure there are other ways to do and am willing to be open."